IT'S UNANIMOUS!
O' Cain and McBama Unite on VP Choice for Good of the Nation
Libertarian, Green and Communist Parties expected to follow suit
All Candidates Agree To Resign If Elected To Clear The Way For The Woogie To Become Supreme Ruler
Tuesday, 2008 · Boulder, CO (PMS) · The Nation rejoices as Woogie The Cat has become the unanimous Vice-Presidential choice on all sides of the political aisle. Without opposition, it appears that Woogie The Cat will be the first Feline elected to a national office in U.S. history. Despite the jubilation pulsating throughout the Human and Feline populations, there have been scattered reports of unrest amongst Squirrels, Lizards and Bunnies, known enemies of our Vice-President elect.
"Once my Human frontman resigns after the sham...errr election, well then, it's Claws of Justice time!" The Woogie extended both paws towards his Canine, Raccoon, Human and Humanoid-type subjects witnessing this historic day and said, "Your service to your Woogie shall be your highest calling. I am confident that all who embrace the path I have chosen for you shall prosper. And those that resist shall taste the razor sharp Claws of Justice raking their helpless, fool carcasses again and again and again. Compliance and obedience are not optional!" Woogie then left in a limousine with trusted advisers, Dick Cheney and Vlad Putin, to plot our futures.
© Prankster Media Services 2008
Good post, Prank!
Hugggggggggggggggggggggz,
Taylor (and Joey)
It is my burden, you Humans, and it is a burden I shall carry until the lot of you expire in some fashion. I surely won't hasten Humanity's demise, no, not while you are useful to me. But while your breeding habits are inefficient, there are far too many of you running around in your cars and helicopters. Your vacuum cleaning devices annoying us all, your children who pull our tails, the fool Dogs you bring into our homes and we Felines end up training those dull Canines. Yes, a burden it is. Even Prank can be burdensome, they say he's low maintenance but you know what? There is no such thing as a low maintenance Human, Taylor.
Thanks, I had to get that off of my chest. Prank said you were a kind heart and good listener. When he is out of the dungeon...err basement, yes, in the basement he is. So when Prank comes up for air I will let him know you stopped by. Yes, let Prank know I will. When he's conscious, up and about as it were. Very good then,
Woogs
Of course, Prank does have his flashbacks. I found it helps for me to lay right next to his pillow and start purring right before Dawn to help him focus during what he calls "fever dreams". He doesn't appreciate all I do for him now, of course, but he will soon enough.
I hope you all can attend the Coronation Balls I will be hosting around the Country. There will be Albacore and fresh roadkill on the buffet plus various Rodent Cheeses and Innards. Just the thought of enjoying such a feast makes me want to take a nap now.....
What's with all the Squirrels out back in the alley?
Assuming you pass muster, I will have Prank bring you to the Palace so we can start planning our take over...errr, I mean post election activities.
Best wishes to you,
Woogs
What is your position on hairballs? Iran? Iraq? The economy?
Those are very good questions, Whit. And the good news is that soon this Iran and Iraq nonsense will be handled by those best equipped for these matters. I will direct my good friend, Vlad Putin, to deal with these Humans just as he did with this place many of you know as Georgia. I just checked with my contacts in Atlanta and everything is most pleasant there.
As for the economy, with Woogization of the means of production, all Humans shall be working for me. In that way, I can wring out the inefficiencies and reward those who display productive behaviors congruent with my desires and whims. The Rule of Claw shall prevail and miscreants, lollygaggers and anyone engaging in nimcompoopery will find their food bowl empty.
Yes, hairballs are a serious problem and I often have to resort to wasting a perfectly good vomit to get them out. I believe I shall appoint a commission to study this hairball issue, yes, gather some Humans, Lemurs, Dolphins, Chimpanzees, Raccoons and perhaps a few Great Apes to have a go on the roundtable and see what they come up with. And they better act soon since I am still shedding....
And remember, Whit, no matter whom you vote for, what matters is that you vote. Rest assured, my Human friend, my associates who constructed and maintain your voting tabulators will be sure that your vote is correctly recorded for me.
Please tell me its just a rumor that Mr.P is trying to become his secretary of defense. when those two get their heads together no good shall come of it.. Lordy I have to talk to Asa. maybe he can make sense of this.
All I know is that I don't want to go down in that basement with Doc Sam anymore....
Be careful, The Woogie has been known to share his affections with many.
That's all I am sayin'....
Your vote shall be counted extra carefully, WP, yes, we shall make no mistakes.
I KNEW you would step up when the time was right! I'm so proud of you!