TO: The Prairie Prankster

FROM: Woogus Coloradous, Proud and Mighty Lion and Supreme Ruler of the Mountains, Prairie and the Seas.

RE: Corrections and Requirements

Kudos on the fine weather, Prank. Although the intermittent Spring snows are annoying. I can tell that you are trying to comply to my meteorological specifications. The Spring breakfast al fresco service has been outstanding, a major improvement over last year at this time. What a good Human you can be. Yes, Prank, you can be a very good Human. Your weather management skills have improved here at the New Palace. However, don't let your empty Hockey crazed head swell with too much of that idiotic Human pride. We still have some issues that require correction.

Prank, I am at loss to understand why you keep cleaning the bed clothes in the Master sleep chamber on the third floor. It takes me many days to get that foul Human smell out of the sheets and blankets for you. Just when everything has that nice Feline odor you launder these items as if they were filthy. You act as if a little vomit on your blanket is a bad thing. What's a Woogie to do? Do you understand how this can be viewed as an insult to the mighty Woogus Coloradous? Do you, Prank? Understand? I trust you do now.

Now for some very serious business, Prank, very serious. I demand that you lengthen the span of your Human day to accommodate my expanded sleep and balcony lounging requirements. I would think that a thirty Human hour day cycle would work quite nicely for me, yes, quite nicely. For you see, my wayward Human, I currently find myself missing valuable time on the balconies observing the goings on around the neighborhood and eradicating Squirrels, the bushy tailed vermin that are the bane of my otherwise tranquil existence. It is clear to me that your primitive Human time management and lax habits need some adjustment for my satisfaction. This is similar to your crude Human systems of measurement, but did you implement my superior system of measurement, the Woogie, as I suggested? No, you Fools laughed at me, just as you did when I demanded a Royal Litter Box on all three floors. Yes, you laughed even though you, Prank, have your Litter Bowls on all three floors at the New Palace. Your failure to adhere closely to my requirements could prove calamitous, Prank. Be wise to keep your wits about you, and watch your step my dear Human.

As a sign of my magnaminity, I will place one of our mutually favorite songs below for your Saturday enjoyment.

Enjoy your weekend. You can go now,

Woogs