My buddy Prankster is still all blissed out from that reggae show he
saw on Wednesday. He left the computers on all night so I thought I
would take a turn. After all, I am the Lion of the Prankster's Palace,
the Mighty Woogie Cat, Feline Lord of the Mountain and Prairie. Prank
has been honoring my request for privacy but he likes you guys and I
thought I'd help out my kind, imperfect human friend.
Now many of you might be thinking, who is this "Lion", this "Lord of
the Prairie", silly humans. I have conquered and survived 3 other cats
and 2 dogs who lived at the Palace. No, I did not kill them off
although I thought about it. But I knew that to endure one must have
patience and cunning. One must know which levers to bat and which to
leave be.
Both dogs started working for me from the day they first entered the
Palace grounds. Sniveling, submissive, silly dogs, they were too easy.
Even
though both grew up fast they remembered the pain and fury when they
upset The Woogie. And the blood, yes, that's what they remembered most
as I bloodied both of their noses until they learned their lessons. Oh
me o my o, they barked loud and eventually weighed close to 90lbs but
their
brains are small and they are easily controlled. Soon I had my
protection, those hapless big dogs kept the fox and raccoons out
of the yard for me. They chased the squirrels who would interrupt my
outdoor naps. They kept order just the way I liked it. When their dog
food
was out I got to sniff it first and sometimes I would have a bite or
two just to mess with their heads, as they sat waiting and drooling
behind
me. I kinda liked having dogs, shoot, I even slept in their doghouse on
cold days and made them stay outside.
The other cats were a different story. The one who was here before me,
BooBoo, well, he was a tough SOB. At first, BooBoo was not real hip to
my presence in the Palace. But there was plenty of room in the Palace
for us both and we roamed the grounds, even playing together. I knew I
had to bide my time with BooBoo because unlike those dogs BooBoo was smart.
He was a cat and he knew well the advantage we have over all of you. So
we developed an alliance of sorts, we watched each other's back until
one night BooBoo went out and never came home. I had stayed in that
night, it was cold and BooBoo usually didn't like going out in those
conditions but he did. Prankster looked high and low for ol' BooBoo but
to no avail.
Then came the 2 sisters from Hell. One of Prank's human friends asked
if we could "babysit" some kittens. The people were moving and promised
Prank that they would return to pick up their dear kittens in a few
months. Now my human Prankster is a bit of a soft touch on these
issues. Of course, they never came back for the cats. I
knew immediately that I would not like these 2 young things.
They were screwing up the Palace energy and the now one remaining dog
was becoming confused as to who she reports to. I had to re-do all that
work I
had done years ago in her training. All the while these little kitty
girls are making like they own the Palace. This can not and would not
stand. For while they are part of the most intelligent class of animals
on this Earth, they were messing with me and they would soon learn who
was the Mighty Lion and who are the pretenders. I am happy to report
that Prankster took the 2 girls to a small ranch up North where they
are receiving the care that we all deserve.
I know my friend Prankster is a little lonely sometimes in the Palace.
Another dog is likely, why he likes these big, hairy, drooling dimwits
is beyond me but then I tolerate humans. So who am I to talk?...
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I use Prank's device and it seems clean enough...still it does smell human...
I am pleased that Bob is his charming self and showing Lulu what's what. Training that is invaluable as I would attest. Yes...
You have always been one of my favorite humans, Daisy, and I look forward to seeing more of you this Fall.
Woogs