GM, FORD ABANDON U.S. AUTO MANUFACTURING TO FOCUS ON NEW PRODUCTS

GM unveils Cadillac ET Space sedan while Ford chooses more radical design for the new Ford Galaxy 3000. Both feature GPS navigation systems, Apple iCar computers and HD DVD systems.

PMS Boulder · Stunned best described the reaction of many at the annual Boulder Auto Show as General Motors and Ford both announced cessation of auto manufacturing in response to competitive pressure from Automakers in Japan and China. Claiming to have reinvented themselves, spokespersons for both of the auto giants cited escalating wages, high costs of healthcare and low price overseas competition as the culprits. "If we could pay $40 per month at they do in China then maybe we could compete. As it is, we have maybe a 5 year head start to get our extra terrestrial vehicles off the ground before the competition." according to one Ford insider.

New opportunities for Dogs in spacecraft manufacturing may prove to be a boost for U.S. employment picture.

Millions of American auto workers as well as those in the auto parts industries will soon have no jobs. President Bush, who was attending the Auto Show, assured Americans that new jobs as Wal-Mart greeters and bedpan techs to service the aging of America can easily absorb the losses of high paying automotive manufacturing jobs. Bush also noted that a new labor force is emerging to build the next generation of transportation at plants established on the Moon. Bush went on to say that "American workers have gotten soft with all that health insurance and worker's rights and such. Now we have to turn to the Dogs to help revive our economy for the 21st Century or else we are screwed." Bush then joined Vice President Sammy Hagar in their new stretch Hyundai limousine as they went out for a pitcher of margaritas and to shoot some pool.