Blogstream   -   Create a Blog!   -   Login Chat   -   Options   -   Clean   -   Flag   -   Family Filter: Off   -   Recent   -   Rndm >>    

Blogstream  >  Life  >  Blog
 
The Paradox of the Prankster


 My Monday Mantra -- A Celebration of Lyman and Vernetta Edition
 



Lyman frequently exacerbates
Answers a question with a question
Often he gets punched in the face
Given Lyman's talent for consternation

Vernetta constantly aggravates
A knack for eternal irritation
Well she knows the scent of mace
Common to Vernetta's life of confrontation

Lyman knows how to exasperate
Vernetta is quite willing to perturb
But right now all they do is fornicate
Until they produce their annoying cherub

The day they met on that Internet
They knew just what they had to do
So they danced a horizontal pirouette
With hopes demon spawn would soon debut

Could it be we grow to appreciate
Lyman and Vernetta's attempt to conceive
Maybe all that energy given to procreate
Wipes out their propensity to deceive

A match made it seems at Satan's Gate
Let's go ahead and blame the 'Net
We live in times both scary and great
Whatever happens we deserve all that we get

Words © Prankster Media Services 2008
Posted by Prank at 5:26 PM - 6 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 My Friday Mantra - Diggin' Springtime in the Rockies Edition
 



The wind it blows
Roars across the Range
Here a Mile High

All Spring it snows
Upon the mountainside
Here a Mile High

And trees won't grow
Atop the Rocky ridge
Here a Mile High

The rivers shall flow
Outside their banks
Here a Mile High

Everyday is a lightning show
And that thunder cracks
Here a Mile High

So now you know
You can't say you don't
Here a Mile High

Photo and Words © Prankster Media Services 2008


Hey Hey My My (Out Of the Blue) ~ Neil Young & Crazy Horse
13 June 2003 ~ Manchester, Tennessee

words and music by Neil Young

My my, hey hey
Rock and roll is here to stay
It's better to burn out
Than to fade away
My my, hey hey

Out of the blue and into the black
They give you this, but you pay for that
And once you're gone, you can never come back
When you're out of the blue and into the black

The king is gone but he's not forgotten
This is the story of a Johnny Rotten
It's better to burn out than it is to rust
The king is gone but he's not forgotten

Hey hey, my my
Rock and roll can never die
There's more to the picture
Than meets the eye
Hey hey, my my
Posted by Prank at 3:34 PM - 35 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 My Saturday Mantra -- The Occasional Blue Paradox Edition
 


Lone Tree by Patricia Carroll. To see more of Pat's creations in higher resolution click here.



Why Hello my sweet Friend
A welcome sight you sure are
Just how long has it been
Since we last kissed goodbye

Often thinking of you
Sometimes I wondered
What you've been up to
Since we last kissed goodbye

You got a life to lead
I know the last thing you need
Is someone the likes of me
Since we last kissed goodbye

So lovely to see you
Now I've got to move it along
It's not just my eyes that are blue
Since we last kissed goodbye

Words © Prankster Media Services 2008



And Now For Something Completely Different.... From Those Ancient Days..... When Appreciation Was Expressed With Gobs Of Saliva....

The Clash ~ Capitol Radio > Janie Jones > What's My Name > Garageland
Live October 1977

Capitol Radio
Strummer and Jones

Yes, it's time for the Dr. Goebbels show!

There's a tower in the heart of London
With a radio station right at the top
They don't make the city beat
They're making all the action stop

A long time ago there were Pirates
Beaming waves from the Sea
But now all the stations are silenced
'Cos they ain't got a government license

Wanna tell your problems
Phone in from your bedsit room
Having trouble with your partner
Let us all in on the news

If you wanna hear a record
Get the word from Aiden Day
He picks all the hits to play
To keep you in your place all day

Capitol radio
In tune with nothing
Don't touch that dial

Janie Jones
Strummer and Jones

He's in love with rock 'n' roll woaahh
He's in love with gettin' stoned woaahh
He's in love with Janie Jones
But he don't like his boring job, no...

An' he knows what he's got to do
So he knows he's gonna have fun with you
You lucky lady!
An' he knows when the evening comes
When his job is done he'll be over in his car for you

An' in the in-tray lots of work
But the boss at the firm always thinks he shirks
But he's just like everyone, he's got a Ford Cortina
That just won't run without fuel
Fill her up, Jacko!

An' the invoice it don't quite fit,
There's no payola in his alphabetical file
This time he's gonna really tell the boss
Gonna really let him know exactly how he feels
It's pretty bad!

Let them know - how you feel

What's My Name
Strummer, Jone and Levene

What the hell is wrong with me?
I'm not who I want to be
I tried spot cream an' I tried it all
I'm crawling up the wall!

What's my name naaaame...naaaame....naaaame....

I tried to join a ping-pong club, sign on the door said all full up!
I got nicked, fighting in the road an' the judge didn't even know

What's my name

Dad got pissed so I got clocked
Couldn't hear the Tannoy so he lost the lot
Offers Mum a bribe through the letter box
Drives you fucking mad

What's my name

Now I'm round the back of your house at night
Peeping in the window - are you sleeping tight?
I laugh at your locks with my celluloid strip
An' you won't know who came

What's my name

Garageland
Strummer and Jones

Back in the garage with my bullshit detector
Carbon monoxide making sure it's effective
People ringing up making offers for my life
But I just wanna stay in the garage all night

We're a garage band
We come from Garageland

Meanwhile things are hotting up in the West End alright
Contracts in the offices, groups in the night
My bummin' slummin' friends have all got new boots
An' someone just asked me if the group would wear suits

I don't wanna hear about what the rich are doing
I don't wanna go to where the rich are going
They think they're so clever, they think they're so right
But the truth is only known by guttersnipes

There's twenty-two singers!
But one microphone
Back in the garage
There's five guitar players!
But one guitar
Back in the garage
Complaints! Complaints! Wot an old bag
Back in the garage
All night

Posted by Prank at 11:49 AM - 33 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 The Woogie Cat Has A Few Issues
 



TO: The Prairie Prankster

FROM: Woogus Coloradous, Proud and Mighty Lion and Supreme Ruler of the Mountains, Prairie and the Seas.

RE: Corrections and Requirements

Kudos on the fine weather, Prank. Although the intermittent Spring snows are annoying. I can tell that you are trying to comply to my meteorological specifications. The Spring breakfast al fresco service has been outstanding, a major improvement over last year at this time. What a good Human you can be. Yes, Prank, you can be a very good Human. Your weather management skills have improved here at the New Palace. However, don't let your empty Hockey crazed head swell with too much of that idiotic Human pride. We still have some issues that require correction.

Prank, I am at loss to understand why you keep cleaning the bed clothes in the Master sleep chamber on the third floor. It takes me many days to get that foul Human smell out of the sheets and blankets for you. Just when everything has that nice Feline odor you launder these items as if they were filthy. You act as if a little vomit on your blanket is a bad thing. What's a Woogie to do? Do you understand how this can be viewed as an insult to the mighty Woogus Coloradous? Do you, Prank? Understand? I trust you do now.

Now for some very serious business, Prank, very serious. I demand that you lengthen the span of your Human day to accommodate my expanded sleep and balcony lounging requirements. I would think that a thirty Human hour day cycle would work quite nicely for me, yes, quite nicely. For you see, my wayward Human, I currently find myself missing valuable time on the balconies observing the goings on around the neighborhood and eradicating Squirrels, the bushy tailed vermin that are the bane of my otherwise tranquil existence. It is clear to me that your primitive Human time management and lax habits need some adjustment for my satisfaction. This is similar to your crude Human systems of measurement, but did you implement my superior system of measurement, the Woogie, as I suggested? No, you Fools laughed at me, just as you did when I demanded a Royal Litter Box on all three floors. Yes, you laughed even though you, Prank, have your Litter Bowls on all three floors at the New Palace. Your failure to adhere closely to my requirements could prove calamitous, Prank. Be wise to keep your wits about you, and watch your step my dear Human.

As a sign of my magnaminity, I will place one of our mutually favorite songs below for your Saturday enjoyment.

Enjoy your weekend. You can go now,

Woogs

© Prankster Media Services 2008



The Who ~ Bell Boy ~ 18 May 1974

Posted by Prank at 3:41 PM - 22 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 Things To Do In Denver When We Don't Ski -- March 2008 Edition, Volume 2
 

Frozen Dead Guy Days
Nederland, Colorado






THE TRUE STORY OF GRANDPA IN THE TUFF SHED
By Bo Shaffer, Cryogenicist

Bredo Morstoel, or as he is known around here, Grandpa in the Tuff Shed, was born in Norway in 1900. He stopped breathing in 1989, but is currently awaiting re-animation at some undetermined time in the future. This is the Life Extension Concept: Grandpa is not truly dead, he’s just waiting until they can fix him and bring him back to life. The concept of cryogenics has been around for a few years.


Bredo and Trygve

Grandpa Bredo died in Norway, was cryogenically prepared and frozen in Los Angeles, and currently resides in Nederland, in a Tuff Shed emblazoned with the logo of the Denver radio station 103.5 The Fox that arranged for the shed to be donated. The shed sits next to a partially finished, concrete covered, earthquake proof, fire proof, bomb proof metal supported structure that was intended to be the main building of the Life Extension Institute. The main building was to connect underground with the vault where the cryogenic capsules were to be stored. This was the intention of Bredo’s Grandson, Trygve Bauge.

Trygve financed the land and buildings on a slim budget, always intending to get a couple of “paying customers” fairly fast to help defray expenses. The cryogenic vault was a tin garden shed and the Dewar flasks for the liquid nitrogen were not in the budget yet. Trygve was keeping the cryonic facility operating on a shoestring, using dry ice to keep things at a relatively warm—cryonically speaking—but somewhat frosty –109°F.

Things were progressing slow but steady towards the full Institute concept, since there were now two bodies in the cryonic “vault,” when Trygve ran afoul of the Law. Trygve always felt that he was a citizen of the world and he didn’t have to show them no stinking Green Card. Even this would have probably been tolerated except that every time he could, Trygve would call attention to his plight, using the media and making the INS out to be idiots. You can break their rules, but don’t call them stupid!

It became necessary for INS to do their duty, and this they promptly did by snatching Trygve and hustling his butt off to Norway. ’Nuff said.

Unfortunately, during the media brouhaha surrounding Trygve’s deportation and abandonment of his elderly mother, Aud Morstoel (Bredo’s daughter), she happened to mention to a reporter that she just didn’t know how she was going to take care of the two bodies in the shed. Up until this time, there were probably only a half dozen people in the whole world that had any idea of what was coming into being on the property in Nederland. Certainly none of the media nor the quickly summoned police knew anything at all about cryogenically preserved bodies.

Once the furor had died down and everybody realized there was no crime, the locals decided that it bloody well ought to be a crime to have dead bodies lying about, and decided to fix that little loophole in local ordinances. Thus, Nederland, Colorado has one of the few laws in the books regarding the keeping of corpses on private property. It is strictly verboten, but due to the vagaries of the law, one cannot make a current situation illegal, and therefore Grandpa Bredo was grandfathered in, and is allowed to remain as a resident alien. Once his family heard about all the ruckus, Grandpa’s roommate, Al, had to go back to Chicago where his family stuck him in the ground.

When Trygve left, he prevailed on some friends to continue to keep Bredo’s body as cold as possible with dry ice, in hopes of someday returning to continue his plan for a proper cryogenic facility. After his deportation, Trygve searched the world for a company that could temporarily sustain his dream.

After looking for over a year, Trygve was able to obtain the specialized services of a company called Delta Tech to ensure environmental continuity in the maintenance of the only do-it-yourself cryogenic life extension facility in the world. The planetary ecologists at Delta have maintained Grandpa Bredo’s environment for over seven years.

During this time, the old tin shed was blown to pieces and a timely radio promotion stunt got Bredo a brand new, bigger shed just in the nick of time.

Psychics have been consulted several times, to try to contact Bredo. Every TV station in the area has done their version of the Grandpa story. Grandpa has been in every local newspaper. He’s been in The National Enquirer. National Geographic Magazine did a portion of a cryonics special on Grandpa. TV personality A. Whitney Brown interviewed Grandpa using psychics for a special news report. Inside Edition, Strange Universe and Globo have all done TV specials. There was even a short documentary feature done by a promising local director.

Grandpa Bredo appears to be more famous dead than most of us ever are alive. But he’s not dead. Really. He’s just awaiting re-animation. It is extremely important to maintain his environment, because if it fails, he will be killed.

Two years ago a US Census taker came to the facility. When he was told what the situation was, he became quite pale and stuttered, “I’m putting down no one’s home!” and promptly left.

In 2001, the Delta staff and Fox Radio gave Grandpa a New Millennium Birthday Party… He was 101.

A slice of cake was put in with Grandpa to keep until the next millennium.

Slideshow Photos © Prankster Media Services 2008, all other Photos and Bo Shaffer's story about Grandpa Bredo courtesy of the Nederland Chamber of Commerce, © 2001-2008
Posted by Prank at 1:54 PM - 12 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
Pages:   1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49
   
  About Me
Author: Prank
Age: 50
 
This blog is about...
Just thinking, that's all. Your mileage may vary.
 
My: Profile  Gallery  Bio 
 
Bookmark   History

  Blogstream Sponsors
Have you checked out the new Blogstream site,

Question Stream.com?

Many Blogstream members are there already! Quotes from members: "It's like blog lite!" -- "I like the instant gratification!" -- "Stop spectating, get in the game!"

If you have not joined in, you are really missing out!

Send Free
Just Saying Hi
Greeting Cards
at

Greeting Cards.com


Good Morning


  Recent Posts

  Blogs I Like

  Archives

30486 Visitors